Heart with Love

"God create us with the heart", that I got quote from my friend. We have a mind and heart, that excess are given by God for us. Mind to think and heart to organize our thought. The life can be affected by peace of heart and mind greatly. People who have a heart will be able to appreciate, honor, cherish and share with others.

Heart can deliver a feeling of love and admiration for something. Heart can cause a sense of satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Heart can give love and hate feelings, sad and happy. The mood can change according to what happening. If we feel satisfaction to something so our hearts feel good. But otherwise if we feel not satisfied to something then our heart will feel sad or even hate toward it. 

The heart can lead to feelings of love. Love is a thin line between passion and sincerity. Usually love because of the admiration, love starts from the physical and outward appearance. So many people are deceived by love. Love can be felt by everyone who has a heart. They have hearts so that they will not hurt each other. They will care about the surroundings.

Love can be given to anyone and anything. Love to parents, love to husband, love to family and the love to friends. But the very essence of love is the love of God. As we know that love for human beings is appearance of love. That love can exist and can be lost. If the people who we love are apostate, so we feel the pain of heart and a feeling of love will be lost. Sometimes love to humans is lust. But it will be a good love if our love is base on love for God.

Feelings of love creates a feeling of longing to them, feeling happy, cheerful, and always want to be with them everytimes. Feelings of love can give passion in life. Because people who loved are loved by them too. But because of love can make hatred, hurt and no passion in life. This happens because of the betrayal in love.Humans have feelings of love, then anyone would be able to love and be loved. There is no prohibition in love, because love is a gift to all human. 

People who are in love is very difficult to express his feelings. Because there is a fear to not accepted, fear to hate, or fear that she will leave him. Feelings of love can be given to anyone. Do not let bury love for someone, even if it is impossible. Love does not have to have each other. Sincere love for her is enough. Love should be expressed directly even though it was painful because the way did not allow.

As we know that feeling of love is only to our partner. But the feeling of love can be given to anyone and anything. With the love we will always try to keep it. With the love we will always try to provide the best for her. Although we can not have her. And never cover up feelings of love.

For me, the feeling of love is the gift from God's that is priceless. There is a sense of love cause of peace and harmony in the life. Then how lucky they are, who made the heart has a love. Because we live in the presence of love, at least love to God, love to parents who always give us the best for everyething. And never bury of Love, although it is impossible and be hurt. But believe in God for everythings can happen.

And Thank for All that who had give love for me...

FRIENDS...

Friend ...

I have many friends in my life and my heart. Friend is one who knows us completely. Understand our situation and understand our shortcomings. Friend is a person who always support us when we are sad or happy, pain or difficulty, shortage or excess. Friend is a person who always loves us as we are. Friend are always besides us when we need or not.

Friends are always giving us the support and motivation. Friend is one who knows our situation completely. Friend are always beside us when we go forward, healthy and happy. And also will never abandon us when falling, pain or difficulty. He will always accompany us and always give us support to rise from adversity.

Friend is a person to make a share about life, love, and everything so we can life better than before. Friend is a person who always reminded us always to do good. Friend is a person who always reminded us not to do worst. He always forgive our mistakes if we err. Friend always understood our condition and accept us as we are.

Friend is a person who would never hurt us. Friend will never force something that does not wanted by us. But friend provides guidance and support. Friends are always guarded her chastity, always keeping friendship sincerity.

To me a friend is someone who is always there for me any time. He always kept friendly relations. Not easily offended if his friend made a mistake and an oversight. We always maintain harmonious relationships. We will not take advantage of each others for a self-interest. Friends are always doing everything with sincerity. I'm as a friend always promised to be sincere do everything to support my friend.

Friends are everything in my life to me. Friends are always close even though physically far away but close to hearts.

To all my friends, do not ever leave or terminate our friendship. While your friend is making a mistake. To me forgiveness is more better than the left.

To my friends who may have hurt by me. Forgive me as your friend's. Since there is no intention for it.

Keep always our relationship and always be together to share the good every where, every time and every day.

Thank you to all my friends. Because of you I find it is more meaningful to life.

I love you sincerely

The Power of Brain

 Do you know that God created human as a perfect creature among other creatures such as animals, plants, jinn, angels, etc. When Adam was created, God had all to bow down to him, only one did not do, it is devil. Because devil has a negative and arrogant character.

Humans have created a very perfect body. They have eyes to see, ears to hear, nose to smell, tongue to taste, skin to feel and heart to feel. God gives the human mind and passion. Mind’s function to remember, to think, to understand, and to control the passions.

Now we do not talk about it. We're talking about the brain. Humans and some animals created by God to have a brain. The brain is protected by the skull and head. The brain consists of many nerves and is the central nervous system. The human brain has a volume of about 1350 cc and consisting of 100 million nerve cells. The human brain is responsible for setting the whole body and the human mind.

Did you know that the human brain is more powerful than the greatest computer today? According to the study, we have about 200 billion brain cells and we could save about 100 billion bits of information. Why we are not better understand a thing when our brain has over 100 trillion possible connections. Why we can not be more creative when we averaged 4000 thinking every 24 hours. Did you know that the human brain has a memory capacity of 30-70 trillion Gigabyte than greatest computer in the world.

On a computer, CPU (Central Processing Unit) is a mind. Computer as a human creation has a certain age to use. If They often use, the ability to work and save will be decrease, but the human brain are increasingly while it often being used. The human brain is only working about 10% and was able to produce their greatest work. While the remaining 90% are unemployed. Imagine if 100% of all our brain works, how great it is, we can do everything.

Do you believe in the power of the brain? What we think and feel through the heart, will be transferred directly to the brain, the brain will record and process. The more frequent and more powerful thoughts and feelings will grow stronger brain works, so that he will transfer to the rest of the body to do what we think is.

Would you believe that all we make sure happen, it will be happen? But it can not be separated with any confidence, effort and prayer.

That everything we do always be positive and good, we must always think positive so that whatever we do is positive.

I strongly believe in the power of brain, to think that I want it make happen.and accompanied by faith and prayer. It will make to happen.

Well how about you?

Friendship and Love

Humans always lived side by side. They need friends to share and fill his life. With the friends, they make a friendship. Friendship is mutual trust, mutual need, mutual respect, mutual feeling, and sharing. We share in what is perceived by friend, if they are sad, we will be sad too and also understand what makes them sad. And we'll try to make them happy. We will also smile when friends happy.

Friendship is not only a close friend just physically but friendship can be close friend in far distance. We share each other about life, love, work, or everthing. With friendship, we can get more experience about life. With the friendship, we can learn a lot about life. Friendship is beautiful, there is love, grief, sorrow, pleasure and love.

I think love and admiration are so close. You said love to your friend, may be it's only admire for your friend.

There is no life without love and friends. Because of friend we get a love and because of love we get a friend.

For that all, I'll always keep the friendship. And never break for any reason.

for my best friend .... 

thanks for your kindness...

thanks for everything ...

I love you guys ....

Beautiful Girl by Sean Kingston

"Beautiful Girls"

JR! Sean Kingston!

[Chorus:]
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

[Verse 1:]
See it started at the park
Used to chill after dark
Oh when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Cause we both thought
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't last together (last together)

[Refrain:]
See it's very define girl,
one of a kind
But you mash up my mind
You have to get declined
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy

[Repeat Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
It was back in '99
Watchin' movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down South
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

[Repeat Refrain and Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
Now we're fussin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' slighted
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're datin' other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal...

BECAUSE OF HER, I ALWAYS SAY "KEEP IT UP!!!"

I share this article again, because suddenly I remember my lovely sister.

I hate hospital, I hate the doctors and the nurses. It remind me about my sister. I have one young brother and one young sister. My age and my sister’s age are very close. The difference is only one year and ten month.

Since kid, we were never separated and always the same in every way, same use good clothes,  same use shoes and others. She's smarter and more intelligent than me. Since elementary school, she always be a champion in her class. Junior and senior high school also always be champion in study.

She has a lot of excess. She's smarter, more patient, has a white skin, have kind heart and talkactive. She was also active in the school. We both graduated in the top universities in Indonesia at Depok. We were both students invitation at there (enter without university test). I was majoring in math and she is in computer science, despite the fact she wanted medical school (to be a doctor). I also have a younger brother. He's the youngest child and very spoiled. He's smart and creative. But sometimes he is a lazy boy. I graduated from college in 4 years. I am working directly on one of the foreign companies that produce soft drink (beverages) in west Java. In June, 2007. 

At 2007, my sister was sick, she went to the campus clinic, one of the special clinics for students college. But the pain continued, until at the end of the year 2007 she was verdicted to suffer a malignant tumor of the lymph.  She got a surgery, but the surgery is fail.

In February, 2008 she got a radiotherapy and continued with chemotherapy. But it was fail too. Until she passed away on 12^th September, 2008 after she got 7^th chemotherapy. As long as she got sick, she never complaint and always be patient. She taugh and strong. She was always eager to recover from illness. Never forget pray, never give up and keep calm. I love her very much as my sister. During her lifetime, she always give me spirit for everything. We had a dream. We had a big dream. Although we never do it together. I hope, I can do it. I can reach our dream. Amin

She wrote a first letter that I found (https://www.facebook.com/notes/melly/aku-tahu-kau-akan-selalu-menjagaku/451475200629). She told about her feeling after surgery, and finally she knew the doctor fail to do it. She always eager to get health from illness. She wanted to continued her college. She wanted to meet her friends. She told that, “My dream became a doctor, although not reached, I’ve been in a doctor’s environment for a long time.” I sad to hear that.

She left a second letter (https://www.facebook.com/notes/melly/remember-my-lovely-sister-rissa-dwi-oktavianty/10150428089785630). She told that she proud of her friends who had graduated as a computer scientist. “Pray for me that I will soon follow you. Amin.” She also said thank to lecturer, friends, and others who  help us at that time.

However, her dream to follow her friend is not reach. She passed away on September 12, 2008, Friday morning on Ramadhan. She passed away in holy month and all her friends at campuss did Ghaib Prayer for her after Jummah prayer at the mosque. We miss her so much. We miss her smile, her laughter, her cry, her smart and her humor. Now she stand beside God. I always get motivation from her. I always say “KEEP IT UP and GO AHEAD” to other. Because without it we can’t do anything.

Furthermore, my brother go on her dream. Now he studied at Computer Science in Jakarta. We miss her so much. She had a quite life beside God.

Because of her, I always just wanna say KEEP IT UP and GO AHEAD others.

Love you My Sister...^_^

My Lovely Sister

Remeber My Lovely Sister

...

Buat yang lagi, KP, SP, TA, dan semuanya....

Assalamu'alaikum wr wb

Apa kabar semuanya. ???

Bingung juga mau nulis apa. Pengennya di rapel dari beberapa bulan ini. 

Lagi pada deadline semuanya ya? 

SUKSES YA!!! Yang pada mau sidang baik itu SP< KP atau TA.

Boeat semuanya...

Arya.. Makasih banyak atas semuanya. Salama buat mamanya. makasih banyak samape di sini pun masih selalu memberi informasi yang berguna untuk kesehatan dan daya tahan tubuhku. Salam ya... Makasih support-nya. Bu Leli udah jadi kayak ibu ke dua nih. Doanya, dukungannya, dan semua2nya. Semua beliau selalu sehat walafiat. Dan buat Arya sebagai teman KP, selamat berjuang ya untuk TA-nya. Moga cepat kelar. Makasih dah mau ngurusin semuanya.. Informasiin sama temen2 dan alumni juga.

Alida.. Salam juga buat mama nya (Bu Leli). Makasih banyak atas doanya. Sukses buat sidang ya...

Ratih, Vitut, dan Nuril yang dah pada wisuda dan lulus 3,5 taon...

Ario, Hafiz, Adit, Ame, Hendra Dwi. Makasih buat sumbangan darahnya.. Moga genius kalian semua nular sama gw. hehehe... Walau pun masih baru pertama kali nyumbangin darah, tapi semuanya berani. Darahnya kuat juga nih. Gw jadi drakula. Bisa bertahan untuk operasi, sinar radioterapi sama kemoterapi.. hehehe... Tapi nggak ada virus khan.. (becanda koq... :)) Semuanya pada TA ya.. Kapan sidang? Moga lulus semua. Dapat A deh..

Mella.. Mea makasih banyak ya.. Sukses buat TA. Ntar kalau dah lulus sering2 main ke kos juga ya. Makasih udah mau digangguin malam2.. hehehe

Sawie Makasih buat banyolan or ketawa2nya.. Lagi ngapain sekarang Wi?

Tuti.. kayaknya di kontes emang loe yang mirio gw deh.. hahahha

Angky.. makasih sampai mw ubah konsep acara liburannya.. nggak terlepas dari kerelaan teman2 yang juga sih.. Dimana di tempat kerja baru?

Verra... enak yah.. udah sidang. Tinggal wisuda aja lagi.. Senangnya...

Intan... Gimana Ntan kapan ke Boekittinggi?

Aprilia.. Udah siap buat sidang?

Eva Makasih atas tausiyah2nya. Buat jadi lebih semangat dan lebih sabar

Elly dan Mega makasih juga ya.. dah nanyain kabar?

Ipro Gimana SP loe bareng bidadari2? Seneng dong. hehehe... 

Ucie Baa kaba? Taragak jua ica. Iyo uci tambat ndut saketek (Roaming2...) Lah sudah TA? Lah lamo nggak main ka ITC hahaha..

Aurora dan Eliza.. Udah mantap nih buat sidang.. 

Gita Yang udah nyante nih... Jangan lupa traktir gw ya.. Makasih.. :)

Alan Makasih bukunya ya.. Saran2nya juga. 

Afif, Wasu, Tanto, Moja, Dani, Rivki, Femphy.. makasih saran2nya. Sukses buat sidang nya ya...

Mahen... Bilo ka pulang Mahen? Lah salasai urusan mahen sadonyo? Makasih untuak saran dan tukar pikirannyo...

Ansari.. Gimana dengan keponakan loe.. Sukses nggak. Sory nggak sempat nonton waktu itu.

Ihsan.. Bilo pulang da? 

Jono.. Udah kelar ya.. Tinggal sidang

Koro Gimana denganTA lu? Depsos nya gimana? Dilanjutin nggak? Moga nggak kapok kerjasama bareng gw.

Mala Temen yang super cuek. Tapi gw suka. Makasih ya.. SUkses buat TA.

Mimi Dah lama nggak ketemu. Biasanya kalau di asrama gw sering kamar loe. Makasih supportnya ya..

Mika Makasih ya dukungannya. Gimana kabar di Ausi..

RAP!!! SP loe dah kelar ya (kan bareng sawie, intan ma jono juga)?

Rendra Pendiem banget. Terlalu lurus. Tapi baik dan rajin bangeeet..

Smile Semoga dirimu selalu tersenyum. Makasih ya.. dah datang berulang2 ke RS

Ilyas.. Kok nggak bilang2 sih... ???

Hadi, Thoha, Riza

Jere, Ryan, Daniel A , Daniel C,Cybil, Adoen, Bacup, Wisnu, Wamir, Rangga, Adolf, Adri, Dado, Desmon, Rado, Joji, Andre, (adiknya Eliza :)) Buat semua Makasih banyak..

Adrianus Gimana mw KP di Trakindo lagi? hehehe Tapi jangan jadi tragedi..

Richard .. sang master of the Master. Udah berada di mana nih sekarang??? Udah melanglang buana? 

 This is the second her letter ...

Untuk semuanya yang tersebut  di atas bukan kerarti melupakan.. Semoga semuanya Baik-baik aja. TEtap semangat. Ntar lagi sidang nih.. Buat yang mw wisuda. Selamat ya.. ! Moga tercapai apa yang diinginkan.

Sampai sejauh ini, makasih banyak. Nggak tahu lagi mau ucapin apaan. Kayaknya nggak cukup. Makasih atas dukungannya. Selama gw dirawat, sesudah dirawat bahkan sampai sekarang makasih karna udah ngurusin semua. Gw bener2 dapatin temen2 yang begitu baik. Bahkan lebih dari keluarga. Bikin kita mempunyai sanak saudara di sini walaupun nggak terlalu kenal. 

Makasih banyak atas support, buku, film2 dan semuanya. Udah bikin gw tertawa. Bikin gw semangat lagi untuk berobat. 

Makasih banyak Ya Allah.. Untuk lingkungan yang baik ini.

Doa in gw bisa masuk kuliah, or nyampe di UI sebelum kalian pada wisuda (30 Agustus 2008).

:)

Aku Tahu Kau Akan Selalu Menjagaku (I Know You Will Always Take Care Of Me)

This is my sister letter, She got a Lymph Cancer. She wrote before she passed away...

14 Januari 2008….

“MbakRissa bangun.. Itu mamanya”, terdengar suara dokter Intan. Dokter muda dan cantik, sedang mengambil spesialis dan residen di RSCM. Perlahan-lahan aku mencoba membuka mataku. Tapi kenapa berat sekali ya. Terlihat mama, papa dan Kak Melly sedang melihat sedih padaku. Matanya sembab, aku mau tersenyum dan bilang aku baik-baik saja, tapi bibir ini terasa berat. “Alhamdulillah ya Allah. Operasinya telah selesai dan aku selamat”. Tidak lama, aku tertidur lagi. 

Sebenarnya tidak tidur juga sih, tapi mataku tidak bisa kompromi. aku langsung tertidur. Samar-samar aku mendengar dokter bilang “Dia minum apa sih. Kok lama banget ya tidurnya”.Tak lama setelah itu, datang lagi sepupuku Ni Ria dan Da Un (orang Padang menyebut kakak perempuan Uni atau disingkat Ni dan kakak laki-laki Uda atau disingkat Da). Aku dibangunkan lagi, dan sekarang sudah berada di ruang ICU Toraks RSCM. Kemudian disusul lagi dengan teman kuliahku Arya dan ibunya Bu Leli. 

Waktu itu aku hanya bisa melihat saja mungkin dengan sedikit senyum yang tersungging di bibir. Setidaknya aku merasa memberikan senyum pada mereka yang datang. Sedikit-demi sedikit aku mulai tersadar. Aku melihat badanku, yang semuanya dipenuhi kabel. Ada tali infuse, pengukur detak jantung, mulutku juga ditutup dengan alat Bantu pernafasan, dan banyak lagi tali-tali lainnya yang bikin aku juga bingung. Tapi yang jelas aku melihat bagian dadaku yang semula bengkak sekarang telah rata. Alhamdulillah… berarti operasinya berhasil. Tapi aku bingung, yang dioperasi kan dada kok yang yang diperban malah dari leher sebelah kanan sampai hampir mencapai pusar ya. Apa sel kankernya sudah menyerang sejauh itu? Dan aku lihat kedua tanganku bengkak dan terasa berat.

Yap… Aku menjalani operasi toraks karena ada pembengkakan di bagian dada superior. Setelah melakukan CT Scan, aku didiagnosa limfoma atau timoma yang telah mencapai sub cutan (lapisan kulit paling luar) dan mendestruksi tulang sternum. Dan setelah menjalani biopsy ternyata aku mengidap timoma. Artinya ada tumor di kelenjar timusku. Dan akhinya aku menjalani operasi.

Aku terbangun lagi karena aku merasa ada yang meraba kakiku. Ternyata papa sedang mencoba mengurut kakiku. Papa kelihatan sedih sekali. Dan mama, matanya bengkak. Uni Melly juga matanya merah. Semuanya diam dan muram. Apakah mereka terharu? “Hei aku kan sudah selesai operasi dan aku baik-baik saja kan sekarang”, ingin rasanya meneriakkan kata-kata itu pada mereka tapi mulut ini serasa disumpal apalagi waktu itu aku pakai oksigen.

Aku tertidur lagi dan entah jam berapa aku terbangun. Nafasku sesak, aku bingung, panic dan sepertinya lupa bagaimana caranya bernafas. Aku mencoba menghirup nafas dari hidung sekuat tenaga tetapi paru-paruku terasa masih kosong dan tidak ada udara yang melewati kerongkongan. Aku mencoba memanggil dokter atau suster, pokoknya orang yang berada di sekitar ruangan itu. Akhirnya ada yang melihatku, dan bertanya “ada apa Rissa”. Aku mau bilang “aku susah nafas” tapi suaraku tidak keluar. 

Akhirnya aku menggunakan tanganku dan menunjuk-nunjuk ke arah hidungku. Semuanya bingung dengan maksudku dan aku pun juga bingung bagaimana cara mengungkapkannya. Akhirnya ada yang mengerti juga. “Mau melepasin alatnya?”. Aku mengangguk. Susternya mendekatiku, “belum bisa sayang”. “Coba nafas seperti biasa. Kembangkan dadanya, terus lepaskan, aku mendengar tarikan nafas berat yang mengiringi nafasku tapi itu tidak keluar dari hidungku, ternyata dari alat bantu nafas yang dipasangkan padaku. 

Hanya bertahan beberapa saat, aku merasa sesak dan sukar bernafas lagi. Kali ini benar-benar tidak bisa kompromi. Karena merasa tidak digubris, akhirnya aku mulai memberontak dengan sekuat tenaga, mengoyang-goyangkan (dipan) tempat tidurku, dan melepaskan beberapa kabel pengukur detak jantung. Aku tidak peduli, yang aku tahu waktu itu aku sukar bernafas. Seorang suster datang menghampiri dan mulai mengikat tali di kakiku. “Ada apa ini? Kenapa diikat?”, teriak seorang dokter. “Biar nggak lepas lagi dok”, kata susternya. “Nggak usah. Kasihan, nggak perlulah sampai diikat”. “Maaf dok”, kata susternya. 

Sang suster menghampiriku dan bilang “Kamu agamanya islam kan?” Aku mengangguk. “Kalau begitu ngucap. Berzikir ya.. Yang sabar aja.”Sedikit tenang, aku bertabih pada Allah. Tapi tetap tidak berlangsung lama. Dari seberang aku mendengar para dokter ingin melepaskan alat itu, tapi ragu karena takutnya paru-paruku belum kembang. Jika belum kembali ke ukuran semula dan dilepaskan maka alat itu akan dipasang lagi dan aku akan merasakan sakit yang ke dua. 

“Tapi udah di rongentkan tadi?”. “Iya”. “Udah berapa lama? Kok hasilnya belum ada juga”. “Tadi udah diminta sama keluarganay tapi maish belum datang”. “Ya udah kalau begitu Tanya sama keluarganya”. “Nggak ada. Keluarganya nggak ada di luar. Cuma barangnya aja”. “Mungkin makan kali. Dari tadi udah capek”. Iya terus gimana nih. Buka aja, kasihan tadi waktu dipasangin dia belum sadar, sekarang setelah sadar pasti terasa sakit. “Gua nggak berani.” Entah apa yang terjadi, tiba-tiba saja pengukur kembang-kempisnya paru-paru tersebut hanya bergerak separonya yang artinya paru-paruku...