We were created by God and we have an excess the mind and the heart than other living things. So lucky we are, if we are able to use both of them in the right condition. We cannot avoid to live alone and we need other people to interact each other. Every day we exchange ideas and sharing each other pertaining to life. We feel what they feel although we face the condition that is inconsistent with us at that time. So, in this case we need mind and heart to maintain and control our emotional.
In our life, we couldn't separate from debate or argue with other. We will think this word “debate” is too hard and usually face in academics or officials that we often see on TV. The fact we often do debate for various topics with our family member, friends or colleague. It begins from low topic about our experience into serious topic such as about the world and its problems.
Sometime, we get emotional in debating as long as the result of the wrong purpose for debating, it doesn't to find the solution but to decide who the winner and who the loser. Emotional appears because of egotism to ask and force others to follow us that it is not necessarily true. Sometime emotional appears because of prestige that consider ourselves more powerful than others, then we feel no respect each other people's opinions. This is not good and it will certainly appear dispute and crack our relationship with others.
My opinion about debating with others are not to show that I am powerful, I know first than you, I am the person who must be respect first by you. But for me, debating is the way to exchange mind with others. Maybe they have more knowledge than me. And, the end of debating does not mean to find the winner or the loser, but to find the solution and new good information that we can combine with our opinion, so it will be useful for others in public. We would not be respected if we aren't able to respect others, it is the same in debating. If we hope our opinion will be respected or accepted by them, we must respect them first without egotism and underestimate their opinion.
When we are debating, we must know with whom we argue. We must know their character, their background and their education, and through this, we will understand them and we are able to deal with good debating. We must consider the time and the condition of debating. If we debate in forum or public, we should do elegant debate without bad emotional like fist fighting. We should use our logic, heart and professional opinions. It is not an appropriate use of words that strike such as “You are wrong!” or “You don't understand what we are talking about!” or any words that is annoying others when we are debating. Do debating with intelligent and smart arguments and not fist fights. At least the way we talk to show who we are a whole of intelligent, smart, emotional and mentality.
When I worked at private company, at the minutes of meeting, we faced debating and sometime we didn't have good result. Have you heard about the proverb of Indonesia “Sing Waras Ngalah”, it means the smart and intelligent people shouldn't continue badly debating and give in to it. It doesn't mean we are a loser, it shows maturity in accepting the opinions of others, even though we know that their opinion is not appropriate, it just for a while, believe that the truth will inevitably occur. We don't decide to find who the winner and the loser except for competition of debating in academic. But we debate to find the solution and to get the new information. If the condition forces to let their opinion to be accepted as a winner, let it be. This means we are the great man who has big hearts and be a winner for them. It doesn't mean we are a loser, but the fact we are a winner for them. Is that not the rich people are able to make other be rich because they had what the people have not owned.
For me in some conditions, I strict for debating, and it is fair if we face someone who couldn't be able to introspection themselves about their egotism in debating. This doesn't mean we drop them in public, but to remind them about their bad habit in debating. Introspection ourselves, know the character, and mastering the topics are the key of debating doing well and give the appropriate solutions.
So, now we should correct ourselves before we argue with others so that they don't feel underestimate and be offended, we should give the right decision and useful for others. Give in to debate are the winner, because the winner to give a win for other, and don't worry, believe that the truth will inevitably occur.